Fruit of the Womb Archive

How do i put this?? For the past 15 years i have wanted to be a midwife. The first homebirth I attended in 1991 changed my life. My apprenticeship for the past two months, during this time of massive, mind-blowing changes in my family have served to help me realize a few things. In order to enjoy my life, travel, do the things i want, i cannot become a midwife. I need to utilize the things i have learned and stop putting my life on hold for a fulfillment of a dream that was not meant to be. I could write about the beautiful, empowering birth I stayed up at all night to witness two nights ago...but I am going to go a different direction. Entirely. My belief is that when things feel like a struggle, when you have too many pieces of the puzzle to make one thing work...maybe it is not meant to be. I have learned to trust God...that the "steps of a righteous man are ordered of God" Maybe my midwifery goal was my idea of how to get what i wanted. However, I trust God with my life. ...

Oh I am on call, on call, on call. I am waiting to attend a birth, a birth, a birth. Many more i will wait for, many more months i will be on call, on call, on call

Okay. Where to start? I officially became a student midwife in January! I sat in the first class and decided that this was exactly where i was meant to be. I cried all the way home, FINALLY able to identify myself officially as "Student Midwife." The class ended in April, and now i am now my own to study (yeah, right!) in order to finish the cirriculum needed to finish the journey. Thanks to the study group i attend, I found out about a local midwife practice looking for an apprentice. Since one of them happened to be my midwife, i figured I had a good chance. After an interview, i was accepted, along with another fellow student midwife as her apprentices. I began apprenticing last week. WOW. Surreal, let me tell you. So far, I am in love with their clients and wish already they were my clients. I have gotten to feel their babies and listen to heart tones and anticipate with them the arrival of their biggest joy. Foster kids: The reason i am behind on this blog is that i have...