Resolution Fulfilled: I left the country. I did end up going to Mexico for five relaxing days of being spoiled and waited upon. Five days of no cooking, cleaning, answering to, "Mom". Only two months later, it feels like a distant memory, and the harsh reminder with my empty account, that travel is over, then its over.
I followed my bliss, however. I found myself volunteering to teach conversational english at the nearby I-House. Literally, i felt in that moment that i was simply observing my own response. Logically, i thought my husband would be upset that i am not landing an "real job" and only volunteering. But my second thought was that given my mental/emotional isolation during the long day, it was a step in a positive direction. I might learn something. My first attempt was the last 15 minutes of another's class, and the mixed levels and perspectives left me chuckling. The elder chinese couple who doesn't understand much more than "hello" or "good-bye". The quiet Eastern European girl shyly reveals her only reason to come here is to learn English. (But in an informal class setting??). The handsome, young Spaniard with his saucy accent. I love foreigners. I think their wide eyed curiosity is akin to children and is a constant reminder of the fact that we are all just....human.
I am interviewing as well. Scared, but excited of entering that elusive world of professionalism once again. I find it rigid and exhausting, but satisfactory at the same time. Pushing through the typical mother-guilt of leaving my children with the promise of a financially secure future. At least here on earth.
"Fancy" is the word my daughter uses for her Barbie's plastic shoes. "Mommy, help me put her fancy shoes on her!" "Mommy, aren't they so FANCY??". Fancy. I agree.
I followed my bliss, however. I found myself volunteering to teach conversational english at the nearby I-House. Literally, i felt in that moment that i was simply observing my own response. Logically, i thought my husband would be upset that i am not landing an "real job" and only volunteering. But my second thought was that given my mental/emotional isolation during the long day, it was a step in a positive direction. I might learn something. My first attempt was the last 15 minutes of another's class, and the mixed levels and perspectives left me chuckling. The elder chinese couple who doesn't understand much more than "hello" or "good-bye". The quiet Eastern European girl shyly reveals her only reason to come here is to learn English. (But in an informal class setting??). The handsome, young Spaniard with his saucy accent. I love foreigners. I think their wide eyed curiosity is akin to children and is a constant reminder of the fact that we are all just....human.
I am interviewing as well. Scared, but excited of entering that elusive world of professionalism once again. I find it rigid and exhausting, but satisfactory at the same time. Pushing through the typical mother-guilt of leaving my children with the promise of a financially secure future. At least here on earth.
"Fancy" is the word my daughter uses for her Barbie's plastic shoes. "Mommy, help me put her fancy shoes on her!" "Mommy, aren't they so FANCY??". Fancy. I agree.
Comments
Post a Comment